Change, Adventures, Freedom, & a Whole Lot of being Me!

25 Oct
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My home in Cambridge..view over the Waikato River

I will never sacrifice who I am. That is one statement that I will always do my absolute best to stay true to. I am growing into my big soul more and more, and learning how to let go of things that do not matter much in the bigger picture. There are many people who accept my free spirit and glowing soul, because they have eyes capable of catching a glimpse…then there are others who have no idea that I am the person who is going to save the world, and are incapable of comprehending what it is that they are seeing in me. I do not hold it against them. I need those people in my life as a reminder of how I could become if I gave up. It only inspires me to be more of who I am. I have a theory in life and apply it to many things, whether it has to do with life, love, decisions, relationships of any kind, etc. My theory is that things happen for a period of time because for some reason the universe brings us together or places us in situations to learn or to teach something, or both. When that period of time is over, no matter how great the sacrifice, one must move on and move forward with their newly acquired skills, knowledge, or sense of wholeness from whatever skills or knowledge they have given. Many people become comfortable and resist the needed change, and find any reason whether rational or not to continue on the dead-end path. The tell-tale sign that this has occurred is when the situation, relationship, etc. seems to fall apart, and is as if one is “beating a dead horse”. Those who choose “the road less traveled” are willing to move forward at any cost, trusting that there is some greater lesson ahead. Of course it is painful, we are human beings, and of course it seems absurd at times, but the more one is able to let go of this resistance and accept change, moving forward becomes easier, the gifts are more abundant, and the path becomes clearer. (I am not suggesting any type of religious message here by any means, I am anything but religious. The universe exists, and there is energy within it. It is what we have evolved from, and it is what brings all life together.)

With that said, I came to New Zealand to learn sustainable living. I was supposed to do a long-term WWOOFing stay (wwoof-acronym for willing workers on organic farms/several variations, same meaning-we work for our meals and bed, no money is exchanged) here in Cambridge with a couple who have luxury Earth house accommodations (Earth-house guest houses-but super nice, expensive, etc). They said that during this internship I would learn every aspect of sustainable living. They also asked me to come out 10 days early to help out with the annual EBANZ (Earth Builders Association/NZ) conference, which just finished up two days ago. So, here is what I have taken from it:

I met two incredible human beings that have enriched my life, and will be friends with for life.

I learned a lot about earth building, and was able to tour several earth houses.

I became friends with the president of EBANZ, who lives in beautiful Nelson, and hosts wwoofers.

I was able to be around people like me, free spirits, and my soul was happy.

So, going back to where I am at and how this effects my life:

The people that I am staying with are strong Christian Republicans, and (out of respect I will name them John and Jane) John is somewhat racist to the Maori people and quite sexist as well. He is “old school”, about 60 years old, and sometimes it is easier to excuse it in older generations, although I do not really ever tolerate it (even if it is an uphill battle). He is also quite the perfectionist, and good on him because he (and several wwoofers) built three beautiful luxury eco accommodations which are quite successful, as well as running the organic farm. However, I cannot stand someone critiquing me at every little thing. It is acceptable when doing things like milking a cow, or making yogurt, NOT when I am doing the dishes. Standing over my shoulder making suggestions is not acceptable to me. I moved out at 16, and have paid my own way through college ten years later, and have a BA, a certification in Massage Therapy, as well as my CDA, and have traveled the world. I am capable of dishes.

So during the EBANZ conference, I became quite keen on a man from Nelson named Scotty. He is the most genuine man, 40, with a head full of beautiful dreadlocks. His girlfriend is the president of EBANZ, and he volunteered to cater to all 70 people. I was his kitchen hand. (Much love to all kitchen people! OMG! So much prep and cleanup!!). He is quite the free spirit, and I was able to be me as much as my soul allowed, and get lost in good energy. It made the excruciating (and I mean EXCRUCIATING) long hours (like, being in the kitchen from 7am til midnight!) fly by because we could be us. I could be me. It made me realize how little of that I had been doing, and able to do because I was with John & Jane in their perfect Christian Republican home.

That started to make my already doubtful mind more clearly doubtful. (ßBad English, I know…). So, what I always do when I need clarity, is seek water. I have found that it creates an energy and atmosphere which I can let go of all thoughts, clear my mind, and make room for proper decision making. I walked into town yesterday (my day off after four long days of EBANZ conference!) with the intention of opening a bank account and getting situated and prepared to purchase a vehicle, as well as stopping for a beer and buying a bottle of wine to cope at home! (Just a side note, the walk to town is about 4 miles down an unsafe highway with little to no shoulder!) As I was enjoying my glass of wine…and beer to follow (owners of pubs always buy me beers…I dig it!)….I decided that on my walk home I would hike down to the Waikato River and try to catch or create a path next to the actual river so that I can find my zen zone.

I began to hike through places that were not places to hike, climbing through things and creating my pathway, until I landed in a place that appeared as if it were from the heavens. I hadn’t known it would look like that…I hadn’t known Cambridge could be so exotic and gorgeous…so I continued on my journey, because I felt as if I were not quite there yet. I heard the sound of water rushing, so I had to follow it. I came to a place with a little mini bridge, lots of crazy trees everywhere, rocks, and a mini waterfall streaming down! It was absolutely incredible, and exactly what I needed. It was so surprising that the burst of energy from this unexpected treasure brought tears to my eyes. There was so much energy and love (I know, it sounds hippie, but it is genuinely true). Because it was close to my reach, and somewhat safe to get to, I had to get in it. I asked the waterfall to bring me clarity and wash away the negative energy to make room for love and clarity, and I jumped in it. It was freezing but amazing and full of energy- exploding with energy! I needed to shower anyway, so what better place than a mini waterfall in the most beautiful country on Earth! I took some pictures, and for those who are Facebookers, have seen them, and now you understand their significance to me (=. When I had received adequate clarity, I dressed and hiked back up to the bridge, and practically danced my way home, and barefoot as well (I feel more grounded walking in bare feet).

As soon as I arrived back at John & Jane’s, dinner was on and the funky energy took over in heaps of negative clouds. It was like a vacuum had sucked away my soul…or tried to at least. Then the icing on the cake-the ultimate clarity occurred at dinner.

John was talking, and he had made a comment about a previous wwoofer, and slipped up and called wwoofers a bunch of mooches. I could not get upset, because I had just received the clarity I needed. In fact, it wasn’t just clarity, it was a brick to the face of clarity! I had been getting sick of only cleaning up the earth houses and doing minimal farming work, and not really learning anything anymore (and already!), so I have had it in my mind to wwoof elsewhere and forget this internship thing. I could learn what I want anywhere, and get pieces from different places while exploring this gorgeous country. The other wwoofers had warned me about John as well, but I had to see it for myself. Even his wife was appalled at his remark. They would not be able to run their business without wwoofers. Wwoofers are hard working people, and most of the time work more than what is required, while only receiving meals (and if you aren’t here you don’t earn your meals, or pay).

Anyhow, I am quite excited to purchase a car and move onward. I love adventures, life, freedom, etc. I will never sacrifice who I am, ever. These people are not bad people at all. Jane is amazing, and so very loving, and John is quite humorous and logical. They just aren’t me. They aren’t my people, and honestly, Cambridge is probably the least beautiful place in all of NZ (it is gorgeous nonetheless…again…just not me)…So I am jumping out of a metaphorical airplane and buying a car that I can’t really afford to put petrol in, learning to shift gears with my left hand, drive on the opposite side of the road, and head out onto the open road with no real destination, just a heart full of love and a soul keen to learn sustainability and see the most exotic parts of this amazing place. I am living in the moment, and loving it. I have a place lined up in Wellington on Nov 23rd.  I’m not quite sure how things will pan out, but this is the part that I have learned to be quite good at-letting go and trusting the universe. The picture becomes clearer and the gifts are more abundant. Cheers!

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My little zen zone

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One Response to “Change, Adventures, Freedom, & a Whole Lot of being Me!”

  1. Susan D. October 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    Beautiful Kim, do not settle, ever. No matter how Zen we like to think we are, it absolutely drains our essence when you are around that energy. Really, all you can do is laugh at his comments. They are totally laughable! and just think! you don’t HAVE to live with him, but his wife does! Bwahahahaha! hope the package comes before you leave! I love you! Mah

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