From Tuatapere to Dunedin: Love, Open Hearts, and the Wisdom to save the World:

17 Dec

41 Degrees Celsius (about 105 F), and the world seemed to cave in-right into my head. Every cell in my body ached. I am pretty sure that even my hair hurt. My organs boiled. My tonsils swelled to massive boulders in the back of my throat. My lymph nodes were overwhelmed with infection. I was sick. I was really sick.

Nobody ever really gets sick at the “right time”, but I think I did. It was Friday, the 23rd of November in Tuatapere, which would have made it the 22nd at home-Thanksgiving. Sean (the other wwoofer) and I were house-sitting and figured we would take it easy during the weekend anyhow, and perhaps do some exploring. Before beginning the small amount of gardening I would do that day, I was able to call home. Just as the phone rang my brother answered, so that was a nice surprise. I am very close with my brother, and cherish his brotherliness. I chatted a bit with him, my mum, dad, and my Uncle Mike. I was really energized after that, and headed to the garden.

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Lake Hauroko is a lake in Fiordland National Park.  That is very Southwest on the South Island. It just so happened to be located about 20km down the road off of which I was staying. After a few hours good work, Sean came and got me. We decided to explore the lake and see Fiordland. It was a decent day. We packed a good lunch, a couple beers, and our adventure faces.

Arriving in Fiordland was surreal. The forest was intimidating. I must note that I find trees extremely significant and absolutely fascinating. Human beings tend to think that we are the only wise beings, but there is energy in every living (and non-living) thing. Trees can be so massive, and hundreds of years old. The energy that they emit is powerful. I get the same overwhelming feeling of love and respect (perhaps greater) as if I were in the presence of a wise elderly person. This feeling was exploding from my soul. I did not have words to express what I was taking in. That seems to be a reoccurring them here in New Zealand. Everything has unreal energy, explodes with love, and takes my breath away!

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Entering the forest on gravel, winding road, I parked when I was greeted by the Lake. The Lake. That seems too plain. This massive body of the stillest, most perfectly crystal water, surrounded by forest, green mountains, and snow –capped mountains, accompanied by the bright New Zealand sun and the sandy shore was an absolutely amazing sight.

I took a walk out onto the dock and took it all in. That was why I was in Tuatapere. All of the bad experiences were instantly forgotten. I integrated this moment and stored it in my heart.

Sean and I sat down on a log to have our lunch-some left over pasta, bread & butter, and beer. There is a pest here in NZ that I had not yet encountered-the sandfly. They may as well be mosquitoes because they bite and suck blood, all of which itches to a whole new extreme. I met them after about five minutes of sitting in one place. After wearing what looked like a sandfly shirt, I learned two things quickly. One: Do not sit still, and two: I do not care for these things at all.

After walking, jumping, and spinning around while eating to avoid the flies, we decided to find a hike in the forest to trek. There was one clear option for a hike. One hike was a brief 40 minute hike, another was 3 hours and offered great lookouts, and the third was a 9 day hike. Naturally, we did the 3 hour hike. It warned that it is quite steep, but I thrive from challenges.

From the very beginning of the hike it was exciting. There are so many beautiful ferns and trees. There were quite a lot of detours as well from trees falling over, water, etc. It involved a bit of climbing and acrobatics. Most of the trail was straight up, with tree roots as steps. I named them hobbit stairs, because it looked as if it were something out of the movie, and seemed appropriate. It was definitely a challenge, but it felt great.

We arrived at the top. The waters were so perfectly still yet so alive. The mountains were vibrant with life, and the air at the top was cold, but I hardly noticed. The view was incredible. It was, perhaps, one of the greatest views I had witnessed in New Zealand. I stretched my arms out wide and took it all in. There is so much love and wisdom in the forest, on a mountain, overlooking the waters. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t see from up there. Photos never do it any justice, but I had to take a few. I also saved a few of the greatest ones in my heart.

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After obtaining optimum sights, I practically flew down the mountain. I was fully charged with heaps of energy. I felt richer, stronger, and wiser.

After arriving at the house I started to crash. I knew I could not have possibly been that out of shape. Then the fever decided to take over my body. I was done. I barely made it through dinner and I was in bed. I slept through two entire days. I had some water at my bedside that I would attempt to drink and that was it. I could not move, eat, think, or feel anything but my aching body. Sleep was the only thing that I could do.

On the third day I received a text from my friend Peter (from Dunedin), with information of a doctor nearby. I made the appointment, pealed myself out of bed, and went. The doctor was a very sweet woman from Vermont. She was amazed at how high my fever was. I could barely sit in the chair without tears because my body aches were so intense. I felt like a child, and I did not care. She had me take some fever reducers and sit a while, then let me know I had strep throat and gave me some antibiotics. I keep things natural most of the time, but I am no idiot when it comes to infections. I will, 100% of the time, take the drugs. They were needed. They were magical and amazing, and made me better….and in short time.

All of the wwoofers were leaving on Wednesday. I had no real plan. I could not go to another wwoof host with strep throat, so I decided to spend a few days in Dunedin and regroup/recharge. It seems to be a good place for it. Plus I thought it’d be nice to see Peter again.

Wednesday came along, and I could not leave Tuatapere any quicker. The energy there was funk. I am happy I was able to see Fiordland, but I do wish that it wasn’t attached to the negative energy of Tuatapere. At least when I think about Cambridge, I still have sunny, happy, loving memories. This is sadly not the case with Tuatapere. It is a wonderful thing though, because if I were to stay in Tuatapere I would be missing out on other amazing opportunities. I am learning this slowly but surely.  Because of this, I have decided to let go of the idea that I would find a long-term wwoof host. I do not believe I need to. My only intention for doing this was so that I could also get a job and earn some money. I have also decided to let go of the wasteful emotion of “worry”, and deal with what I have and make it go as far as I can. It seems less stressful when you let go of the wasteful emotions. I also decided to let go of expectations for wwoof hosts. It is a lottery. One never knows what type of person will be behind the door when he knocks.

Although I was still quite sick, the drive to Dunedin was absolutely energizing. The weather was nice (which was only an added bonus). I arrived at the holiday park where my cabin was located. Peter was kind enough to book it for me since I had no service in Tuatapere. Once I arrived it was as if all of the negative energy had disappeared. I was already beyond my experiences. I had anticipated a few days rest as well. I hadn’t thought of what it would be like to be a wwoofer and get sick. Now I know!

I rested quite a lot, and caught up with the world since I had internet again. I enjoyed all of the comfort foods that I had missed, such as fish n’ chips and ginger beer, and I slept a lot. It took a couple days to feel 100%, but I did recover much quicker being in my own space without having to worry about anyone else but myself. Being right on the ocean was also quite healing. That is my favorite place in the world. It is where I obtain the most wisdom, meditate the easiest, and re-energize the fastest. I did just that.

5:58am:  Friday, the 30th of November. I was wide awake. For those who know me, I am the farthest from a morning person. I have difficulties getting out of bed before 11am. I do not wake up at 5:58am. That day I did. It had come to me as clear as the New Zealand ocean waters. The answer is Love. Just like that, as simple and as complex as that-it’s Love!

Since I can remember (perhaps five years old) I have had a vision of saving the world. I had lost it for a few years when I dated a robot that had no spirit. After living in Germany and getting to know myself, and my adventures back in The States, my soul began to grow again. Then one day I met this beautiful woman named Jaye McGilvrey. She was just an amazing soul, and we connected right away. Our energy combined was incredible. We hadn’t known much about one another, we simply worked together one night. We decided that we needed to have a beer together after our shift. We headed down to our favorite German pub-The Bier Stube, in the Village of East Davenport (Iowa), and sat down for a brew. At one point Jaye turned to me and just looked at me. She took her time analyzing me before she said anything. It was in a loving and an intriguing way. She paused once more, and began with “I see you. You are speaking publicly, as if you are a political figure-but you aren’t. It is political, but you are not a politician. It’s big. You are doing something big for the world.” And there it was. This woman hadn’t known me hardly at all, and she shared the vision I have had since I was five. That is what it took. My soul exploded with love and reassurance, and I owe it to my angel, Jaye, for seeing it. I will never forget that moment. It was in that moment that I rekindled my flame to save the world.

I was never sure how I would save the world. That is a pretty complex goal for one to have in life. If there is one quality about me, it is my determination. I have the drive of a raging bull when I set my life to something. I have set my life to saving the world. I love how crazy people think I am when I tell them my goal in life-what I want out of life. Then people ask me “How?!”, and I love even more that I can respond with “I have no idea!” I just trust that it will come to me and I will know when it does. In the process I will remain open and receptive to all the wisdom that life has to offer, and proactively go about life with the intention of building my inner army of love and knowledge within myself throughout my world travels and encounters. Learning sustainable living in New Zealand happened because of those intentions.

On that morning, it became clear how I would save the world. It just came to me. I had dreamt about all of the different types of love. I read in a Louise Hay book that there is enough food and shelter to feed and house the world. That is not the problem. The problem is that lack of love. It was brilliant! It is absolutely true. If there is proper love, then there will be peace. Now that I have a foundation to base my plan from, I can build from there. Again, I have to be patient and remain open, as well as proactively move about life. The time will come when the creativity and wisdom of how to teach the world how to love again comes to me, I trust that I will know. Love. It’s a start! I find it interesting because on my way to Dunedin the very first time, my intention was Love! It was always there. There were so many different types of love which I experienced in Dunedin. All of these things were teaching me something. I remained open. My second visit to Dunedin I discovered that I would save the world with Love. My theory is that Dunedin must be a vessel for Love!

All of this sounds crazy to most people, but it all goes back to the placebo effect doesn’t it? If we believe something is, than it is! If it isn’t, than it becomes! Science has proven that. It is just the same with our thoughts. If we think we can, then we start to believe we can, and we eventually do. If we remain positive in the present moment, we begin to act positive. We start to attract positive people and positive situations, and just the same we repel negative people and negative situations. This is not true 100% of the time, but it is true most of the time. There are many other factors that play a part, but in the moment I am making a generalization to prove a point. If I believe I will save the world, I begin to fill my head with thoughts, all of which are energy as well (everything is energy). My thoughts become emotions if I buy into them. Emotions create actions and reactions.

My purpose in Dunedin had been fulfilled. I had intended on wwoofing for an elderly lady on fifty acres of land about an hour North of Dunedin. She didn’t quite have room for me but would make do. It would only be until the 15th, when I had planned to go wwoofing in Wanaka (Central Otago) near Queenstown. That was my plan. Or so I thought…

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One Response to “From Tuatapere to Dunedin: Love, Open Hearts, and the Wisdom to save the World:”

  1. Susan December 31, 2012 at 7:10 am #

    You are so very blessed Kim. Bob sounds like an angel sent from G-d to you. He is what you needed to put some faith in humanity again for you.

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