The Winds of Change

11 May

Anytime a state of “Limbo” seems to present itself, I recognize it to be change. There is a massive amount of stuff up in the air right now. As I do, I will go with the flow of life. That’s when the gifts present themselves you know!
My job. I was hired on the boat as a seasonal employee. This meant that when winter happens I no longer have work. However, with staff changes, a change of management, and lots going on as far as potentially getting another vessel since our numbers are exploding, this means that I may have the potential to extend my contract throughout winter, or even “permanently”. (Not that anything in life is permanent, especially in my life). I have fallen very much in Love with my job as well. I had never worked on a boat in my life, and knew zilch before this epic experience fell into my lap. I have since been learning about the mechanics of the vessel on which I work as well as being trained to drive the boat and do the commentary. I absolutely Love it. My soul is happy because I am growing and learning. I finally was able to put the bug in my manager’s ear about wanting a permanent position, and Tristan applied for University so he plans to leave (which is good for me as far as having a job goes). He’s on holiday at the moment but a letter from a Uni did come in for him at the office, so I’m stoked to see what happens. However, I did have a brief moment of insecurity.
As human beings we tend to forget. We need constant little reminders, and luckily I am open to them. When I found out Tristan got the letter from his Uni, I got a bit angry. He hasn’t told any of the bosses that he wants to leave, but he plans to leave by August no matter what. If he gets accepted to Uni he will leave in July. I’m only on the roster for May, and no one, not even the bosses know yet if I’ll be needed further. I can only hope, because I want to stick around here for a while and I really need money since the car incident. There are also heaps to learn and explore. Plus, winter is epically gorgeous here, and after winter comes beautiful spring and tramping season, which means I can go on long several day tramps through some of the glorious tracks here in Milford. So, I had a bit of a sour moment towards my dear friend, Tristan. I thought, how selfish of him! He has a home to go home to, security, etc, plus he’s leaving no matter what. Why can’t he just let the bosses know so that I can secure my own position?! If they get rid of me then he leaves anyway that’s absolute crap! If I leave here I live in my tent! And it’s winter now! Then I remembered. I remembered that human beings forget, as I had done. It is not my place to screw Tristan and tell the bosses. It is simply my place to let them know I am keen to grow and learn with the company. Whatever is meant to happen will, and it will be for my greatest good even if I cannot see it. If I leave Milford, I may also have to give my car back to Rosco. So, when things like this present themselves, one must always sort out a “worst case scenario”, because it is not usually that bad at all once it is sorted. This fear and insecurity comes from resistance to change. I have a good thing here and it is nice having a decent income. Why would I want to leave? However, if there is something greater out there for me I cannot miss it. One can only trust the guidance of the Universe. I can never know how or why anything is before it is, but once I take my leap of faith and end up where I am meant to, I always see clearly the why and how. I am always grateful I take the leaps. I find it exciting and welcome these “Limbo” situations with Love, because I understand that they present themselves when these leaps of faith are being prepared.
So, here is my “worse case” scenario. I’d like to rename that, because “worse” makes it seem negative, when really, like my car accident, they are gifts which have not yet presented themselves in proper form. I will rename it my alternate route. Here is what would happen: I give Horey’s car back to Rosco. I rent a car from my company at cost. I travel north up the west coast and finally finish that huge and epic part of New Zealand which I detoured from when I got this job. I’ll head to Nelson at the top end of the South Island, which is the sunniest part in all NZ. I will stay at a skipper’s dad’s house and help him out on his farm. If money is needed, I can work at a restaurant which a coach driver’s sister owns and he already promised a job if ever needed. That doesn’t seem bad at all, aye? Once this alternative route was mapped out and easily accepted, a weight was lifted. And, perhaps, none of that will actually happen, but I’ll be heading in a direction and open to whatever it is that is meant to happen. I had released my resistance and re-opened my heart. I also felt horrible about having bitter feelings toward Tristan. I Love Tristan! My Milford family is my family here. Even if I don’t get an extension on my contract and Tristan leaves anyway, it’s okay because it will have needed to happen that way. Everything will work out for everyone’s greatest good as it always does.
Once I accepted this, I decided to pop on the tele and check out some BBC Knowledge. As always, I was inspired. There was a program on about Lagos and the government and corruption. Shortly after, I was intrigued by CNN’s African Voices session. It was about a woman in Uganda who was a Midwife and taught mothers and women family planning. I was so inspired by this I was in awe. I cried when the woman spoke. I cried because she worked solely out of Love. Not just any Love, Unconditional Love. This was the most beautiful portrayal of Love I have seen in humanity in a long time. This Midwife worked 24 hours a day, when any woman needs her she is there. Babies and mothers do not die on her watch. Also, a beautiful “coincidence” is that this takes place in Uganda. My soul is so drawn to Uganda for some reason. I know that I have work there. Maybe I can work with this woman in her clinic! I can learn the native tongue and learn about humanity and true, pure, Unconditional Love. I will be looking into this seriously. I do trust that I’ll get there if I’m meant to, and I know that timing is everything. All that I need to do is a bit of research, but most important, stay open.
After my beautiful inspiration, I went outside to absorb and integrate my release of resistance and to open my heart to the Universe. The night sky was clear as, so every possible star, nebula, planet, and the Milky Way were totally visible. It sent shivers down my spine from its epic beauty and energy. Another thing that I noticed was the wind. I find rain to be cleansing and wind to symbolize change. It had been rainy all last week (which I took advantage of and hooped in my bikini in the storm) , and the last two days have had high winds. (I’m talking HIGH! Out on the boat in the fiord we have been known to experience wind gusts from a strong Norwester up to 80 knots and more, which is about 80 mph or 160km per hour! That would be considered hurricane weather, but for us it’s a normal day). I felt that I needed to hoop with my LED hoop under the Milky Way with the outlines of the blackened mountains embracing my soul. I needed this so that I could do something free and creative to absorb and integrate my acceptance and willingness to change. Whilst hooping with my arms wide open facing the South and looking up at the Milky Way and all of the beautiful stars and planets accompanying us, I let the Universe know that I release all resistance and am willing and open to change. Just then a massive gust of wind blew straight into my soul, I felt the winds of change surrounding me, wrapping my body and removing any remaining resistance, and then it continued on back into the atmosphere. I felt cleansed, happy, and whole. I had tears in my eyes. Light was restored in my soul. I was able to go to bed that night with a clear head and warm and open heart. I always lay in bed with my drapes open, and many nights have issues falling asleep, simply because I cannot close my eyes. I don’t want to stop looking at the starry skies wrapped in the mountains, draped in the rainforest. Also, the first thing that I see when I open my eyes are the pink morning skies, the waterfalls flowing from the mountains to the valley, and the massive mountains and rainforest. I’m also greeted with the beautiful songs of the native birds of the forest. Life is absolutely perfect.
With that said, I will be keen to see what ends up happening as far as my job goes. Am I meant to stay here in Milford and get my skipper’s ticket? Am I meant to move on? Who knows? Who cares?! Life’s not so serious! It’s a beautiful adventure. I’m open and receptive to change, Light, Love, and all the good and abundance in the Universe. I’ll keep everyone posted once I know. Until then, have a voice and make it heard, and always remember to act out of Love in every situation no matter what. It’s Unconditional Love that will bring world peace. Love & Light.


2 Responses to “The Winds of Change”

  1. Susan May 11, 2013 at 6:20 am #

    Well done my brilliant one! Well done. You always make me smile with a happy heart.

  2. Matthew Auliff May 11, 2013 at 7:35 am #

    I’m glad that you are constantly finding happiness. This is Matt Auliff and I miss and love you. I shall leave you with this, hopefully you find enough bandwidth to enjoy it.

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